


in perpetuity

by leoandsnake



Series: Jack dated Tony verse [4]
Category: 24 (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Michelle, Complicated Sexuality Tony, F/M, Fingering, Pegging, Prostate Stimulation, Strap-On, boob stuff, frank talk of sex, slight D/s overtones, some dirty talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 14:18:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4103962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leoandsnake/pseuds/leoandsnake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michelle figures out Tony's submissive side and encourages him to open it up to her fully, which he does, but not without plenty of back and forth and hesitation. Mostly porn, with some character exploration and mentions of a previous relationship between Jack and Tony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in perpetuity

**Author's Note:**

> look i finally wrote het, for the only het thing i ship!

Michelle figures it out for the first time one night when they’re cuddling.

It had been a long Friday; they were both at work at 5 AM and didn’t leave 'til 10 PM. They went to her place for dinner, which was sandwiches they ate standing up in her kitchen while bitching about Division. For her total lack of interest in cooking, Michelle does put together a decent sandwich.

Together they kill a bottle of cheap wine and collapse into her bed, too tired and bone-deep buzzed for sex, and press wordlessly against each other. Slowly they undress each other bit by bit, button by button, until her button-down is around her waist and her skirt is around her ankles and his pants have been shoved off the bed entirely. They kiss tenderly, the way people who have only been dating for about four months do. It’s still a little new, with neither the thrill or the awkwardness having worn off yet, but there’s a boldness behind it now. She knows how much his mouth likes her mouth and vice versa.

Tony’s grabbing at her breast as they kiss and she’s grabbing his ass. The wine is going right to her clit and her head. There’s a dull longing ache between her legs and she feels hyper aware of her jaw and teeth, the way her tongue fits between them, the way his tongue fits in her mouth. He presses his thigh to her crotch and she sighs and laces her fingers through his hair and slides her hand into his boxer briefs to touch his bare ass.

He reaches behind her to undo her bra clasp, fumbling a little in the dark. They both laugh softly.

“Hi, I’m fourteen years old,” he says raspily. Michelle laughs harder, stroking his scalp with her thumb.

He unhooks it, slides his hand inside and strokes her nipple. She presses closer against him, breathing him in. Their tired bodies share a contented warmth.

Her hand slips lower, squeezing his ass again. Tony buries his mouth against her neck and sucks, gently enough not to leave a mark.

Her finger slips and brushes his asshole, which causes an awkward flurry of commotion between them, where she’s so busy preparing to say sorry and jerk her hand back that at first she doesn’t realize Tony is reacting not with horror, but by letting out a low groan and squeezing her breast even harder.

“I’m s -” Michelle starts, and cuts herself off, pulling back from him to look at him.

He looks back at her, eyes round with surprise, and bites his lip. In the darkness a silence falls between them.

Michelle feels curiosity growing in her. She leans into him again while with her other hand grabbing a tube of lube off her bedside table. They kiss again as she squeezes some into her hand and then rolls him over and stretches out over him, straddling him.

She’s not going to say anything out loud, afraid Tony is skittish right now, but the warm buzz in her clit got a lot more insistent on hearing that soft noise that just came out of him.

They’ve been dancing around this for a while now. Sometimes she’ll pull his hair a little harder than most people would say is appropriate to do to a guy, and his eyes will roll back in his head and he’ll start fucking her that much more eagerly. He likes being bitten, scratched.

She knows, too, about his previous affair with Jack Bauer. It’s one of CTU’s badly kept secrets. She doesn’t know what they did together, and Tony has never mentioned it. Sometimes she thinks he’d sooner drop dead than open up to her about that.

There are days, though, where he’s locked in a power struggle with Jack, where the two of them spend an hour or so pacing around a conference room table snapping at each other with their faces flushed, and he’ll casually drop to her at the end of the day that he’d like to spend the night. And that strange unknowable part of her, the part she’s tried to keep buried as best she could with every other boyfriend she’s ever had, is thrilled at knowing this is going to be one of those nights where he comes apart completely in her arms and very quietly asks her to spank him, or slap him.

She hasn’t gone _here_ yet, though. She hasn’t planned to, either. It didn’t seem like something that was on the horizon for them.

The look in his eyes just now put paid to that pretty swiftly.

Michelle cups his face with one hand and the other, the one with the lube spread across her fingers, heads south.

Tony grabs her wrist.

“Don’t do this just because you think it’s something I need,” he says. Warns.

“I want to,” she says, and as she does she knows it’s true.

His face colors. He tilts his chin back. His hair looks impossibly dark against her pale bedsheets.

“I want this too,” Michelle says.

“What do you think _this_ is?” he says, so quietly she can barely hear him.

“I think…”

She bites her lip.

“I think we don’t need to say it.”

She stretches down and kisses him. He relaxes into the kiss and they fall onto their sides again.

She starts to finger him. Very tentatively at first. Her whole body is thrumming with tension so badly she can hardly breathe. It’s driving her crazy. If she left the room and started trying to bring herself to orgasm right now, she could probably come in a minute flat.

Tony gives a full body shudder and a tiny moan. She grips his shirt with her free hand as she moves her finger slightly deeper. His moans get slightly higher, sounding more like whines. She grits her teeth. The wetter she gets, the hazier her vision becomes.

“Are you that sensitive?”

Her voice comes out in a low purr that she's not used to.

“Yeah,” he murmurs, sounding almost guilty about it. His mouth is buried against the top of her breast. He’s stroking the nipple of her other one with his thumb, over and over with the same motion. She pushes a second finger into him and he lets out all the air in his lungs, then a soft, choked noise. He tangles his fingers in her hair and closes his fist tightly.

Michelle kisses his forehead.

“I like that,” she murmurs shyly.

“Oh, God,” he breathes. “Fuck.”

She curls her fingers and strokes the inner wall of him. He lets out a strained, ragged noise and ducks his head.

Michelle stills. “We can stop.”

His fingers tighten in her hair.

“Don’t stop,” he says.

She can tell he really, seriously means it.

“Okay,” she whispers, “okay,” and leans into him harder, gripping his bicep with her other hand. The sensation inside of her is a warm, steady throb. She fingers him even harder, with more confident strokes. Tony’s clinging to her, holding onto her hair for dear life with one hand and the other around her waist, making soft noises - noises she’s only ever heard from the women she’s been with, translated into his low, sweet voice. She moans in response to him, in a release of the arousal building inside of her, and his nails dig into the skin of her lower back.

After deliberating it for a second, she starts to push a third finger into him. It’s difficult going, and she feels his entire body tense against her. Gently she kisses his forehead and cheek and he leans up to meet her, kissing her on the mouth, dragging her closer to him. She can feel that he’s very hard.

“Still good?” she says softly.

He pulls back from her enough that they can look at each other. “You can do whatever you want to me,” he says.

The breathy intonation of his voice is overwhelming. She bites her lip and doesn’t move in to kiss him again; she wants to watch his face.

Michelle pushes her third finger in all the way. His eyes flutter closed and his chest rises as a rough gasp comes out of him. 

She presses into him more insistently. Their bodies meld until he's riding her fingers and she's becoming more aggressive, letting that other side take over her - the one she bottles up so fiercely. They're gasping and panting in unison and moving against each other desperately.

He comes finally with a deep shudder, into her hand and and against both of their stomachs.

Tony rolls over, facing the ceiling, gasping for air.

She puts a tentative hand on his chest. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” he murmurs. “Yeah. I ju - I… yeah.”

They lie there in silence for a while, their breaths slowly evening out.

He suddenly pulls her to him, his hand on the back of her neck. They kiss deeply, hungrily.

Tony rolls her over onto her back and moves down the bed, slipping her underwear to her ankles and pressing his mouth to her inner thigh. Her eyes close.

 

/

 

Two weeks later they’re in a sex shop in downtown LA shopping for a strap-on.

The purchase was a mutual decision, but of course Michelle practically had to drag him along. Even after she convinced him, he insisted they go as soon as it opened and spend as little time there as humanly possible, to minimize the chance of them getting recognized.

“What about this one?” she whispers. “The harness looks comfortable.”

Tony, who is pacing nervously behind her and refusing to make eye contact with anyone, even the mannequins, turns and squints at the box. “Eight inches?” he mutters. “Sweetheart -”

“Oh, I didn’t even notice that,” she says, laughing awkwardly. “Why does it need to be so realistic, too? With veins and everything?”

“Maybe we should have done this online,” Tony says, hugely sidestepping an employee who’s passing through.

“I don’t really trust those kinds of websites with my personal information, do you? We can pay in cash here. Okay, how about this one, seven inches, one and three quarters inches wide.”

“Think about what we’re talking about, here, all right? We’re not trying to jam, y’know, something the size of a cucumber in…”

He makes a small circle with his thumb and forefinger. Michelle sighs.

“This one? Six and a half inches?”

“Anything that’s six?”

“Let me look. I mean…”

She pauses before continuing.

“How, um... how big was Jack?”

There’s a very blatant silence from Tony. She turns, and he’s standing there with his hands on his hips and an eyebrow raised.

She puts her hands up and turns back around. “Okay. Just asking.”

“A little smaller than me,” Tony says, after a few moments. He sounds proud of this, for some reason. Michelle thinks (not for the first time) that she will really just never understand men.

“But even then, I'd prefer… you know.” He rolls his shoulders in a vague gesture.

“Okay, as small as possible without being a thimble. Got it.”

The employee from earlier pops up beside the display they’re hiding behind. “Need any help?”

All the color leaves Tony’s face.

“Actually, yes,” Michelle says. She puts on a fake smile. “Honey, just go over there and look at the videos, okay? I’ll get you when I’m done.”

Tony rolls his eyes but complies.

“Okay, so what would you recommend here?” she says.

“Uh, these are all pretty top of the line,” the clerk responds. He seems like he might be high. “You guys were saying you wanted something small?”

“And with a comfortable harness, please.”

Five minutes later she sneaks up behind Tony where he’s doing his best to pretend to casually browse an entire wall of DVDs with charming titles like _Busty Cheerleaders Get Busted On_ and slides her hands over his hips.

He jumps a little, then relaxes into her touch. “I thought you were that old guy that was in here a second ago,” he mutters. She laughs.

“I bought one,” she whispers to him.

“You get more lube too?”

“Yes,” she says softly against his neck, and kisses him under his earlobe.

“So, ah… How big is it?”

“Six, and then an inch and a quarter wide.”

Michelle wonders if he’s focusing so much on numbers and technicalities to avoid talking about the larger implications of what they're doing, anything that might make him vulnerable. She wonders if she’s indulging him in this because she’s still afraid to admit, even to herself, how thrilled she is that he’s giving over the reins to her, how much she wants to dominate him.

But to hell with that, right? Life is short.

“I want you like this so badly,” she says, so softly that someone standing two feet away wouldn’t hear. “I want to see you like that again.”

He makes a quiet noise of longing.

“I want to take you apart. I want you to beg me for it...”

Tony turns and kisses her. She throws her arms around his neck and they make out in that horrible little porn room, separated from the rest of the world by a thin, ratty curtain. Her heart is almost jumping out of her chest. She wants him so intensely. She wants to hear those moans again, wants to see the look on his face when she slides inside him.

He’s sliding his hand up her shirt, grabbing at her breasts, and she’s grabbing at his ass.

Michelle isn’t sure what causes them to separate, but they abruptly do, a mutual decision they come to without speaking. His chest is heaving and he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. She smooths her skirt.

“Want to just, uh,” he says, and squints at the ceiling like he forgot what he was even saying. “Um. Just go straight from here to CTU?”

“Okay. Sounds perfect.”

It’s a Saturday, but they each have some work to do, enough for them to have to come into the office for a few hours. After that, they’re gloriously free.

Michelle can’t help smiling a tiny bit to herself as they cross the parking lot in the bright 9 AM Los Angeles sunshine. The seed of illicit excitement in her, the small fire that’s been growing for weeks now, is starting to grow into a violent roaring flame.

She watches Tony as they walk. Notices how he doesn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. How his eyes seem even bigger than usual. The way he bites his lip every time he stops himself from glancing at her. How he’s got a visible flush of arousal in his cheeks.

 

/

 

Work is hell.

Michelle actually loves her job, really loves it. She loves how much more hands-on it is than DARPA ever was. She loves the monthly weapons training. She loves the chaos barely kept at bay by routine. But it's the last place she wants to be right now - so near to Tony, but unable to touch him.

The paperwork and administrative drudgery they need to get done takes longer than either of them wants it to. They keep glancing at each other from across the bullpen, and Michelle has to keep fighting the urge to bite her lip. A few times she fumbles what she's holding.

When they're finally free, the sun has already set and their trip back to Michelle's place is punctuated by shy glances at each other and both of them awkwardly shifting in their seats. Neither one talks. What is there to say?

They walk in and Michelle tells him to hold on and wait for her, then heads up to her bedroom. He looks puzzled, but makes himself at home on her couch.

Michelle flicks the lights out. She lights three candles she found at the grocery store (two with the off-puttingly sexual name of _Linen Whisper_ and one _Crisp Apple_ ), puts on the new Norah Jones CD and takes a few roses out of a small bouquet she bought and starts ripping the petals out. It feels like an awfully violent beginning for the romantic gesture it's supposed to be. When she's torn off what feels like an appropriate amount of petals, she scatters them across the bed.

Michelle is a thoroughly practical person, and she feels silly for going to all this trouble, but she wants more than anything for Tony to feel safe and at ease. Little romantic touches like this usually make her feel less tense about sleeping with someone for the first time, and this is kind of like that, right? He's opening himself up to her in a very honest, raw way. The least she can do is set the mood a little.

She walks out in the hallway and calls out that she's ready. His steps up the stairs are slow and purposeful, and then he's in front of her.

She kisses him, because it feels like the appropriate thing to do right now, and she badly wants to.

Tony produces a bottle of uncorked red wine from behind his back, along with two glasses.

"Did you steal that from my kitchen?" she says, laughing.

"Yeah... I also had a glass before I came up here."

"Well, okay."

As she leads him into her darkened bedroom, he stops, wide-eyed. "Alright," he says. "Jesus. I feel like a college virgin with an older boyfriend."

"I was hoping you'd feel _relaxed_ ," she says, taking the wine from him and pouring herself a glass. He follows suit.

"Yeah, I mean, that too," he says, starting to unbutton his shirt. She slides her skirt off, steps out of it and presses her hands to his chest.

"Sorry," he says. "I'm just... you know. This isn't exactly an easy position to be in."

"You do want this, right?"

"Yeah," he says softly. His throat rumbles a little bit. "I definitely do."

"I just don't want it to be..." Michelle hesitates.

"Painful?" Tony supplies.

"Yeah," she says, relieved.

"Trust me, babe, if I'm tense enough for it to hurt, you’ll notice.”

"So... I guess my question is, what can I do to make you less tense?"

He smiles his crooked smile. "I can think of a couple things..."

She starts to palm him through his slacks and he leans down and nuzzles at her neck. Together they walk backwards and fall onto the bed. Crushing the rose petals, presumably.

Michelle props herself up on her elbow so she can finish her glass of wine. Tony is already pouring himself a third one. She can feel the alcohol going straight to her clit, a warm sensation that radiates out through her body.

When Tony finishes his glass he reaches out and moves her underwear to the side, rubbing his thumb against her. It feels wonderful and she gasps, but pushes his hand away.

"Hold on," she murmurs. "I want to do you first. I want the first time I come tonight to be in your arms after I've been inside you, and after you've come for me."

Tony's eyelids fall half-mast and color rushes to his cheeks and lips. "Okay," he says in an almost impossibly soft voice. "Whatever you want," he says, and rolls over onto his back.

Michelle's heartbeat speeds up so much that she can't speak for a second.

She slides on top of him, finally undoing her shirt and tossing it aside.

The soft jazz in the background doesn't match up with her jangled nerves, but she takes a deep breath and tries to let it soothe her.

Michelle spreads her palms across his chest. He grabs her wrists, making small circles with his thumbs on the undersides of her forearms.

She reaches over and takes the lube off of the bedside table, uncapping it and turning it upside down. Tony's dark eyes watch her, wide and expectant.

She starts to finger him. His back arches against the bed and his head tips back. He lets out a soft noise.

It's easier for her to move into him than it was last time.

"Did you get ready for me?" she says quietly. She barely recognizes her own voice. It came from the very depths of her diaphragm.

"Yeah," he chokes out. "Alright, I'm gonna..."

He sits up and pours himself half of another glass of wine.

She laughs, despite where her hand is and how bad her clit is throbbing. "Please don't pass out on me."

"I'm good," he says, downing it in a single swallow and waving his hand. "This is the perfect amount. I just... you know."

"It's just me," she says, meeting his eyes.

Tony sets the glass down and leans back again. He laughs. "You? Michelle, you scare me as much as anybody I’ve ever met. If we were together for a thousand years, you could never be _just_ you. And... it's different, with a woman."

There’s a warm squeeze in her chest from the flattery and the quiet, reverent way he talks about her. She continues to finger him gently, spreading him open. She watches his fingers clutch at the sheets and there's a hot, deep clench inside of her. She leans forward and squeezes her eyes shut.

"Different how?"

"The things you expect from me."

"I don't expect anything from you..."

"The things I expect you to ex - _oh_ -"

His breathing shortens up.

"Uh, the things I expect you to expect from me, I guess," he says. It comes out low and all in a rush. "What you just did..."

Michelle moves her fingers in the same way and he moans desperately, tossing his head to the side and almost tipping her over with a jerk of his pelvis. She leans forward over him and sucks lightly at his neck, continuing to finger him the same way. He clutches at her, seeming to feel the pleasure in increasingly spiked waves. His nails sink into the soft skin of her back and she revels in the sharp, biting sensation.

"Try to put that out of your head," she murmurs to him. "We're alone here... it's just us. I want what you want."

His only response is a soft sigh as she continues to work him over.

The first time they ever brought up his relationship with Jack, it was because she mentioned her previous relationships with women. A very tiny part of her worried he might react the way other guys had, being either overly interested or crassly dismissive. Asking her if this was her way of saying she wanted to have a threesome. She was pretty confident, though, that Tony was special.

His only reaction seemed to be one of subtle relief.

"I'm straight," he said quietly, continuing to unpack the groceries she had gone shopping with him for. When you work such long hours together, you get domestic fast.

She rested her chin on her crossed arms and just looked at him.

He tossed an empty bag in the trash and cleared his throat. "I think, y'know, sometimes, for some people, things just... happen. It only means as much as you want it to."

The rumor about Jack and Tony is one that travels around CTU every so often. Michelle often tends to attract very extroverted people and gossips as friends, so she heard about it on her third day there. The analyst who told her seemed to find it funny and crassly shocking, but Michelle's interest was piqued in a different way by her dark and handsome boss with some number of fresh skeletons in his closet.

The rumor was confirmed for her one day when she was walking up to George Mason's office and heard the two of them arguing.

"Jesus," Tony was saying. "You know, I didn't always agree with Bauer, but at least with him it could be a conversation, not constantly a mandate."

"Oh, why am I not surprised you wish Jack was still in charge?"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Michelle wanted to slip away, but knew they would see her if she did.

"You know what I mean. Don't make me say it."

"Nah, no. Go ahead."

"Tony -"

"I want to hear you say it."

There was a pregnant pause.

"Don't be a coward," Tony said scathingly.

Mason scoffed. "Okay! Okay - uh, sorry I'm not _dicking you down_ -"

He barely had the sentence out before there was the distinctive sound of scuffling. Michelle burst into the room and they immediately separated.

Tony shot her a deeply embarrassed look. George just looked sheepish.

"I have your schematics," she said, holding the folder up and directing her gaze very firmly at George.

"I'll take those," George said, coming around his desk to grab them. "Thanks, Dessler."

She had felt Tony's eyes on her back as she left.

And now he's underneath her, still palpably insecure about what he wants, what they're on the precipice of doing, even as he moans right next to her ear and drags her closer, even as he's leaking precome on himself as she fingers him.

“Are you starting to feel ready?” Michelle murmurs.

“Yeah,” he says, smoothing his thumb over her shoulder blade.

She gets up and unboxes the strap-on, fumbling it a few times in her heady state of arousal. In her hands it looks big, but she has small hands.

The harness takes a little bit of fiddling and she decides to go into the master bathroom to put it on, so she doesn’t ruin what little mystery there is.

She’s worn a strap-on twice before, but each one has been put together so differently. Finally she gets the straps in place.

Michelle looks at herself in the mirror and takes a deep breath. It looks a little ridiculous, she knows, but it’s not about how it looks, it’s about how it feels. They’ll be so close that all they’ll see is each other’s faces, anyway.

She lets her hair down and it falls wildly over her shoulders. She wants to give him something to grab onto.

When Michelle walks back into the bedroom, Tony is fingering himself.

She freezes and just watches him. His other forearm is over his eyes, and he doesn’t see her. There’s a warm flush to his skin.

She walks to the bed slowly. His arm slides down away from his eyes to rest against the bed, and he gives her a lustful, heavy-lidded look.

Michelle has to remind herself to breathe.

She crawls up onto the bed between his legs, cupping his face with her hand. She moves her hand down to where his is and replaces his fingers with his own.

With his other hand, he slides a finger between a strap of the harness and her skin and rubs at her vagina. She’s very wet, she knows, and knowing this seems to just make him fall further into his submissive state, leaning his head back onto the sheets and letting out a quiet moan for her.

Michelle readies herself to slide the dildo inside him. Her eyes flutter closed, and she takes a deep breath.

She can hear Tony breathing faster, and his breath catches in his throat and makes a hiccupy noise. Without opening her eyes, she slides her hand up his stomach to his chest and presses her palm over his heart. It’s hammering away in his chest.

She raises her head and looks at him.

“It’s okay,” she says softly. “It’s okay, sweetie.”

“Yeah,” he says, barely audible.

She slides her fingers into him again to make sure he’s ready and then slides into him, flush with him, so that the straps of the harness are pressed between their skin.

When she moves it into him he lets out a long moan that comes upward on the end into a whine. She leans forward to kiss him and he kisses her back desperately, messily, shoving his hands into her hair. He tastes like wine.

“Touch me,” Tony murmurs against her throat.

Michelle knows she doesn’t mean touch his cock. She straightens up some, puts her hands on the subtle dip of his waist, rubs her thumbs over him. She moves tenderly and the strap-on moves with her, an unfamiliar sensation. It slips in and out of Tony. His eyelids flutter, he bites his lip. His hands clench the sheets underneath them in tight fistfuls.

She takes in a breath; it shudders in her throat.

As she goes on her strokes become more sure, and she pushes deeper into him. Her right hand is laid flat against the bed and he wraps his hand around that wrist, gripping her tightly. She brushes his hair from his forehead. He’s sweating feverishly.

The pulses of arousal in her are sharp and insistent, but fleeting. She knows this type of arousal well. It’s the guilty kind, the voyeuristic kind.

But she’s not a voyeur here, she’s fully seen and an accomplice to the act, wanted, given over to, leaderly.

He leaks more and more precome without her touching him. The brushes against his prostate are the only things edging him on and bringing him closer.

“Are you gonna come for me?” she murmurs.

He lets out a strangled gasp that seems to die halfway up his throat.

“Come,” Michelle says sweetly. “I want you to come. Don't touch yourself. Let me do the work.”

Blood has rushed to his lips and cheeks, his full mouth is beautifully and ever so slightly parted. His chest heaves.

"Are you..." he seems fumbling for his words. He's out of breath. “Is this good for you?”

She laughs in a slightly crazy way and leans forward to look into his eyes. Her curly hair brushes his chest. “So good. You…” she sighs.

“You don't even know how much I wanted to see you like this.”

“I wanted you to fuck me like this from the first time I met you,” he breathes.

She rocks into him forcefully a few more times, having mastered the thing well enough that it feels like an extension of her.

Tony comes in a very serious way, his back arching off the bed, hissing _Christ_ and gripping the bedsheets with his hand. Come hits both of them on the stomach.

She keeps going for a few more thrusts until he stops her with a warm hand on her thigh, chuckling. “You're gonna kill me,” he says. His voice is so hoarse and fucked-sounding that she feels a desperate surge of arousal in her.

“Okay, okay,” Michelle whispers, leaning down and kissing him all over his face, unhooking the harness as she does and kicking out of it. They hear it clink as it hits the floor and both laugh. She picks a rose petal from between her thighs and pulls Tony into her arms.

He presses his face to her breasts and wraps his arms around her waist, letting out a shaky breath. Michelle strokes his head, runs a hand through his hair. His come is drying, but they can shower later.

She holds him for a while, then. She can tell he needs to be held. She rubs his back in gentle circles and trails her fingers over his warm, sweaty skin, feeling his breathing even out.

“You think I'm fucked up?” he says, rushed and jumbly, like he wants to bring it back as it's leaving his mouth.

Michelle brushes her fingers across the side of his face. “Do you think _I_ am?”

“No! No.”

“Plenty of people do this. Plenty of completely straight people, even.”

“I am straight,” Tony says. He sounds so unsure of it that she's almost embarrassed on his behalf. “It just _happened_ to me,” he continues, his voice harder but suddenly strained. “I wanted - I still want... I just want somebody to do what you just did. I need that. That’s it."

"You can have it from me," she says.

"I don't want you to lose respect for me."

“Why would I? Listen, you know whatever happened between you and Jack is separate from you and me. I might be able to do some of the same things for you, but it's not the same, Tony..."

She kisses him and kisses him and finally he rolls her powerfully over, onto her back, and starts rubbing at her clit with his fingers. She gasps and wraps her hands around the back of his neck, digging her nails into his skin. He uses his knee to press his fingers harder against her and slides one inside her. She squeezes her eyes shut.

“I understand,” Michelle hisses in his ear, “I understand, I'm one of the few people that would, so _let_ me.”

He doesn't respond but continues to pleasure her in a manic, desperate way. She comes, and her back arches against the bed, she moans and clutches the sheets the way he just did. Tony kisses her like he's running out of oxygen and he wants to pull it from her lungs. She kisses him back eagerly and he continues his fingerwork so that she comes again, in great relief at finally having fucked him. She comes a third time right after and sighs with jubilation, pressing herself into him, stroking his hair again.

“That’s enough,” she murmurs, “I’m good, I’m good.”

He kisses her nose and sweaty forehead.

“I'm aware women fuck guys with strap-ons all the time,” Tony says, his voice so raspy some of his words get partially lost, like static on a radio transmission. “I was talking about the… how I get.”

“How do you get?”

“Just… I think I... I like it too much.”

“That’s what makes it good,” Michelle says, and she wraps an arm around him again, gently rubbing at his back. She sees in the candlelight that his shoulders are freckly. She hadn’t really noticed that before, and she feels an intense pang of fondness for him. “Stop doubting yourself. Stop. I’m giving you permission. You can give yourself over to me, okay? I’ll be careful with you.”

He nuzzles her breasts and doesn’t say anything. After a long lull, finally: “Alright.”

“Alright?”

“Yeah.”

 


End file.
